I was gonna write a thing about my recent job search and my conflict in not knowing which option to go for should I get any offers. In fact, I wrote a lot of words about the whole thing. And then before I reached a conclusion of any sort, well…
I got a job offer.
And yeah, I accepted it.
I am mostly sure that it was the right thing to do, but I’d be lying if I said I were positive.
The thing is, I am fairly certain that it’s not the job that I want. In the job I’m about to leave, I discovered a deep passion for Accounts Receivable, of all things, and the job I just accepted has basically nothing to do with that. I mean, I need to have accuracy in data entry, but whatever. I can’t think of any jobs that don’t require that in some way, shape or form.
So I took this job for the benefits, including the ones that the company doesn’t actually offer (those being that the husband works for this place as well so shared commute and use of carpool lane on the way there and shared lunches and blah, blah, blah). One of those benefits will be a massive discount on tuition[1. I guess I just gave away that this place is a university], which will at least put me on the path towards my Bachelor’s in Accounting.
I’m giving my current boss my two weeks’ notice on Monday, and I’d by lying if I said I weren’t looking forward to that, at least a little. Of course, that’s mostly because I’m so tired of him and his shenanigans[2. Wherein ‘shenanigans’ is code for fucking idiocy] and it’s kind of just driven me to the point where I want to embrace a workplace that has an employee handbook, no matter how out of date said handbook seems.
Anyhow, all of that is to make some explanation to my one whole reader as to why I’m saying I’m all on fire to write but then haven’t actually pulled anything together enough to get anything posted.
Sometimes, I am not organized.
Also, I’ve been busy.
I had to jump through all the “on-boarding” hoops[3. Remember when it was “orientation” and I’d call it “disorientation”? Yeah, me too. I think all of American corporate culture changed the word they call it so that people like me couldn’t mock it quite as easily. Okay, this is probably not true.], which was really not that bad, but was still worse than it needed to be. There was just so much repetitiveness in having to type all my personal information out time and time again. If you have my address, birthday and SSN in one document, why do you need all of them in all the other documents? Annoying.
But I quibble, and that’s mostly because that little part of me was wondering if I made the right choice in accepting this job. I’ve been reflecting on that over the past few days and here’s what I’ve come up with:
- I was applying for jobs a while ago but that had been mostly out of a sense of anger and/or dissatisfaction with my boss. Nothing ever came of that, despite my being a whole lot more assiduous about applying to places back then.
- My decision to start looking for a new job most recently was due to some really good reasons that have a lot to do with my sister.
- I actually realized this latest go-round with applying to places that, I don’t know, maybe I should pray about it first and see if I felt like God was guiding me in this direction or if I was doing it for wrong reasons again.
- Yep. That is a feeling I did and do have.
- I had three interviews in a three week period which seemed like confirmation that I was on the right track.
- I asked God specifically to not let me have favor in a place/environment that I wasn’t meant to be and to make it really obvious where I was supposed to go.
- I had so much favor in this latest interview at my new job that I was interviewed on Wednesday, given a job offer on Thursday and on-boarded on Friday. It’s been very fast, especially when I was told at the end of my interview that they wouldn’t be making any decisions until this end of the next week and then got an email the next afternoon saying they didn’t want to wait to make the offer. Favor.
At the end of that list or the day, it doesn’t really make any sense that I should still feel a sense of hesitation about this new position, so perhaps it’s just one more way in which I allow fear to dictate to me.
If so, I am not going to allow fear to stop me from stepping out. I’m taking this job and I have every intention of absolutely rocking it.
All I have to do now is make it through a few more weeks of work without letting everything I genuinely do love about my current job make me feel regret over my decision to move on.