General Musings

school is in session

All work and no play has made Alas a dull girl!

I’ve been enrolled in courses since 2/1, and while life hasn’t been all studying ever since, there has certainly been a lot of it. As always, I am a bit shocked to realize that it’s been a few months since I last published anything here. I say published, because I have a drafts folder full of half-composed ideas and tidbits of news and no clear idea of if or when they’ll be completed.

Anyhow, I can now say that I have finished every course for which I was officially enrolled originally and have added two more into the mix since I have a bit over 4 more months to go before my term ends.

Let me be honest: I am beyond pleased with myself.

Let me be honest again: I am annoyed with the school’s model on just one point.

First off, I knew that this would be the model going in, so it’s not like someone decided to spring something on me. I also figured I stood a pretty good chance of not liking this particular portion of the model. Since, um, I work more or less closely with the people who are in charge of this portion of events and most of them seem pretty dumb. Like, exceptionally dumb.

As a student, I don’t have any control over this forced interaction with someone I figured was going to know less than I did about a lot of the University policies and procedures. But then? Then I also got saddled with someone who not only was one of these people, but is also a person who has been around for a scant few months.

I haven’t been around a whole lot longer, in the grand scheme of things, but I have been around in what is – so far as I have been able to tell – the one freakin’ department in the whole place that isn’t allowed to pass the buck.

So even if I get asked something I don’t know, as a staff member, I can’t just be like, “LOL. This is someone else’s problem now!” and give it the heave-ho. I have to figure it out. I have to provide a solution.

I appreciate this to a certain point, but not as student in the department that I am in, being condescended to by someone who literally could not do his job without my department being there to support him and his kind.

Secondly (remember where I said “first off” several paragraphs ago?), I am actually making this condescending bullshit work out for me. For every time my mentor expresses doubt in my ability (which is often), I am automatically all fierce and in my mind all, “Fuck you, [mentor name]!” because I respond to perceived slights on my ability with ferocious displays of prowess.

At least in my own mind.

Which is where I operate.

And I have completed 14 credits with an eye towards another three this weekend and I am less than halfway through my term.

Again, I am beyond pleased with myself. Someone should probably come along and make an honest go at trying to wrangle my ego into submission.

And that is basically where I have been ever since February 1. Tied up in studying or working or semi-raging against the mentor I’ve been assigned as a student.

At least since I have finished 14 CU’s, I am no longer required to maintain the same level of communication. I am down to a bi-weekly basis and this? This is the best news I have had in a while because it means that 1) I get to sleep in this Friday and 2) I am trusted enough to do the work without regular check-ins.

Which, wow, of course I have been.

I can’t believe they made me wait two months to prove that I don’t need someone to hold my gorram hand the entire way.

4 replies on “school is in session”

Maybe your mentor is just playing dumb and pretending to doubt you in order to spur you on to greater academic feats. Or maybe not. Either way, it seems to be effective! 😉

I had thought of that, but over time, I really think it’s just his attitude. Mostly because it shifted dramatically when I did as well as I did.

Talked to him this morning and told him I want to change programs. He was surprisingly supportive (in a good way, not an “I knew you couldn’t do it” way), so possibly it was just a matter of him gaining his bearings in his role.

Well done! That’s amazing work! See, I’ve never been able to do studying properly, I just can’t focus for long enough – so basically what I’m trying to say is that I’m impressed and you deserve all the kudos.

As for the mentor, that would drive me crazy too. But I guess in a way it worked? It still isn’t right, and I fully get that you’d be frustrated.

I hope you’ve kept this going (since I’m late at replying as usual). My life has been a bit of a shitstorm the past month (pardon the French), and I’m still trying to re-balance myself. Again, well done! I’d post a gif of cheering people if it was something WordPress comments allowed 😀 (I’m addicted to gifs… I have conversations using them in the facebook messenger app hahaha)

Blargh! I had a whole comment here and my blog ate it. RUDE.

For my own sake, I will shorten my general responses:

I am the worst at replying to comments, let alone commenting (or SUBSCRIBING. I really thought I had been subscribed to your new blog, but evidently not, so I am off to catch up after this)
School is still going well. Will (likely) finish second additional course tomorrow and have two more to add in after that….
…but I am also changing programs, because I’ve decided on the fastest route to graduation so I can get on with my graduate degree. Possibly degrees. I am insane.

And mostly, sorry to hear your life has been crazypants! I really hope all the shit quits flying and you are able to re-balance soon. And with that, I am off to subscribe and catch up on what I’ve missed in recent days or weeks or months or however long it’s been. Yeesh!

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