General Musings

oneword365, 2020 edition

I would in no way be me if I didn’t kick off my questionable return to writing random shit on the internet that no one cares about if I didn’t take a moment to talk about my OneWord. Like, look back a post or two and then skip further back to the turning of the year before that you will see that this is indeed a thing. Probably the very thing that makes me think blogging is a good idea, like it’s still 2005 and no one has moved past this particular form of expression.

So my word for 2019 has been largely shrouded in mystery up to this point[1. I say, like there were hordes of people desperate to know.], but now I feel just peachy about admitting it was “mother” and that I totally spent most of 2019 thinking I was going to adopt a child until I realized in September that my mental health state still really sucks balls and bringing a child into that kind of situation seemed like a shitty thing to do to both me and the theoretical kid, even if it wasn’t the absolute worst fate I could imagine a kid having to deal with.

So much for 2019 and OneWord. Onward and upward to 2020. I wanted a word that was about doing things and being engaged but not giving fucks where they don’t need to be given and basically trying to live without letting fear drag me down because the whole story of my whole life for the past several years has been all about fear and how I can’t possibly experience new things from foods I have never tried before to breathing the air in a different city because, my god, that’ll probably kill me somehow.

So I picked the word ‘badass’ for 2020.

Not because I think I am one, kicky new asymmetrical haircut notwithstanding. Not even because I think I can be one, really, what with my pushing 40 and having an exceedingly proper job where I have to act my age and not swear freely and it’s part of my actual job responsibilities to tell other people how to set their career goals for the year like that makes any sense in any universe. At the end of the day and the week and the month and the year, I will probably still mostly be who I am now, but I’d like it to be a better version. A braver version. A kinder version even, because I still think loving people is a pretty hardcore thing to do and one I am still not very good at.

Assuming I can keep this thing going at all, I’ll report back on any badassery that may occur.

4 replies on “oneword365, 2020 edition”

I think that’s a great word for 2020. I don’t do the oneword365 thing, but it seems cool. If I had my wits about me I may have considered it, but I’ve been sadly lacking in that department for longer than I care to admit.

If you’re up for it, I’d love to read more about what’s been going on (cause I’m a nosey bastard, but also because you write very well) the last year, two years? Ugh, time passes much too quickly these days. (Or not quickly enough, it’s always one or the other. Why is that?)

Oh, and if my two comments today seem rambling (they might) it’s because I’m sleep deprived and am staying up way too late (again).

I personally don’t think it’s ever too late to pick a oneword or otherwise goal set. After all, it’s not as though January 1 is any kind of cosmic deadline… just a manmade construct. I’m sure being a mom keeps you plenty busy though!

I will be sharing more about what has been going on and what is going on these days. Just need to get better about my writing discipline. Kind of makes me long for the days when I had a job that was not at all engaging and I had tons of downtime throughout the week. Now I have a job where there is way too much to fit into 40 hours, let alone the maybe 20 hours I actually have left to do things after all the meetings for the week are accounted for. Which I think is to say that I hear you on the tired front. It might not be from sleep deprivation, but oh hot damn, am I ever tired.

I’ve not picked a word per se, but I have set myself some goals for the year. Mostly related to writing. I’m heading for a big number for my birthday this year, and I want to at least feel like I’m on my way towards being a writer by then. The goal is to have my novel published (even if it’s likely self-published as an e-book) by the end of the year.

Oh, I remember the days of not having a job that took all of my concentration. It was so nice to crank out a quick draft for a blog or something during a little break. Your current job sounds very stressful, I don’t envy you!

Goals are awesome! I went to a thing this year with a bunch of other people I know because apparently if you write down your goals you have like a 70% greater chance of doing them. And then if you share them with other people, that will give you some other percentage chance of getting it done! So yay! You’re at whatever percent I am because you both wrote them down and shared them! (I realize this may sound a bit sarcastic, because I always sound sarcastic, but I actually really believe this is true.)

Also, no shame in self-publishing. I want to finish my memoir and I am open to all the publishing options.

As to my job, don’t pity me too much. It’ll only encourage me to bitch about it. A lot.

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